Starting Over

We've been in Oxford for about 2 1/2 weeks, and so far we feel like we are adjusting well.  Life has yet to take on its real routine, but the coming week will begin that journey.  My classes start this week, we are finalizing Emily's preschool schedule, and Johnny begins helping out with the Alpha course at the church.  So life is getting ready to ramp up, which is a good thing!

I like routines!  I enjoy free days as well, but only so much.  Eventually, I am ready for a schedule.  Johnny will tell you that on day 3 or 4 of our week-long honeymoon (10 1/2 years ago), I told him that if we stayed much longer, I was going to have to get a job!  Yes, I like routines.  Having a child has probably helped me to calm down about some of these things because she has a routine that I am very much clued into.  It gives my day the needed structure, and therefore I don't get too antsy.  Maybe a little antsy, but not as much!

Coming to another English-speaking culture has probably made our transition easier in many ways.  We can communicate with people pretty well, even though we do have to ask what things mean some times.  We can read signs and labels in the grocery store.  The food is recognizable, for the most part.  These things have made our acclimation easier, I am sure.

But there was one feeling that we were not expecting:  the uneasiness of starting over!  Starting over is one of those things you expect in your twenties.  For many of us, we started over a lot.  Lived in various places, started new jobs/careers, made new friends, went to new churches, etc.  Starting over was just part of the deal.

But in this period of our lives (on the other side of our mid-thirties now!), starting over is not something you expect.  I know this seems kind of silly.  I mean, we did just move to another country.  However, we weren't really ready to deal with the uneasiness of starting over.  Of having to buy basic supplies for our house that we have had for a decade in the states.  Of learning our way around a new city.  The one that really hit me:  Having to start over in relationships by making new friends.

Again, I know this sounds so obvious and makes me ask myself, "What was I expecting?"  Obviously, I knew all of these things were going to happen.  I just wasn't prepared for how uneasy I would feel about it or how settled I felt in our former life. 

In some ways, even though we were ready for this new adventure, I didn't realize how comfortable I felt in my daily life.  How much peace it brought me to have a home to come to or family and friends that I could see regularly or a church that we connected with so easily.  All of these things have been a great blessing!  I wouldn't say that I have taken them for granted because I have felt truly blessed. 

I guess starting over just makes you realize how you can't manufacture these things.  You can try your best to make a place feel like home or cultivate friendships or feel connected to a place of worship.  But really at the end of the day, it's God's grace that provides these things.  And if He has done it in the past, chances are He will do it again!  We just have to be open and willing to let Him start over with us!