Bonding with the British

As the new year approaches, I reflect on these first three months here and how it has been a roller coaster of emotions. Excitement, disappointment, confusion, contentment, sorrow, fear, and hope. There is so much to process and learn in a new culture and society, even one that speaks English!

 

One thing that has been key for us in this initial season of transition has been bonding with the people and culture here. Tom and Elizabeth Brewster wrote an incredible article/book called Bonding and the Missionary Task on the importance of assimilating into another culture in cross-cultural ministry, likening it to the bonding that occurs between a mother and child immediately after the birth. The first days and weeks are critical for a strong connection to be made and deep, lasting relationships with locals can emerge from that bond that was formed.

 

I am thankful that we ventured out in and around Oxford every day those first days and weeks. We bought long-term bus passes. We ate at local restaurants and cafes. We asked a lot of questions. We learned to stop by the grocery store daily to buy little amounts of food for the next day or two, instead of stocking up once a week like in the States. We committed to live like the people here as best we could. We did our best to not import our American expectations, and we desired to connect and bond with the rhythm and pace of the British life.  

 

Now it wasn't always easy. We got confused and frustrated at times. Things here didn't always make sense to us. Even though we don't have to learn a new language, it is a different culture. It's been challenging and painful at times to make this transition and try to identify with the people here and know how to navigate through daily life.

 

The English are not the easiest and most open to strangers, and yet we have experienced great kindness and hospitality in our short time here already. Getting connected to a local church and into a small group has helped to provide us with a believing community. Other friends we have made have reached out to us and encouraged us in this transition.

 

We have had some extremely tough days and moments here. Yet, Amy and I both comment on how we feel like we have been here longer than we have (in a good way). And I think that I feel that way because in many ways I do feel comfortable here. I have that sense of belonging already to some degree. Now don't get me wrong - I am by no means pretending to be British and do miss things back in America, but living here has grown on me.

 

The best part is seeing how the Lord is connecting me/us with others in the community here and the new friendships we are making. I know these relationships will be important to our long-term success and ability to thrive in life and ministry in Oxford this next year. Now that I am feeling more a part of society here, I'm excited to see what's next.