Getting Out of the Boat

A few months ago, I went on a spiritual retreat that included times for meditation on the Word. In one instance, our leader was guiding us through the passage when Jesus walks on the water and approaches the boat that holds the disciples. We were encouraged to picture the scene and where we might be in it.

I imagined that I was sitting in the boat with the rest of the disciples watching Jesus approach. I remember feeling awed and amazed by the whole scene. Here we are in the boat, and Jesus is walking right up to us! There wasn't a sense of fear or trepidation. I was at peace just observing the scene.

Even though I am familiar with the story and have heard it more times than I can count, I still found myself surprised when I looked over to see Peter getting out of the boat. I thought, "Oh wait, we can get out of the boat?" I found my surprise to be quite humorous, but also very telling. For several years now, the boat has been my home.  I have mainly been an observer of late watching others take steps of faith. So here I was, watching Peter get out and realizing that getting out of the boat had not really occurred to me.

Then I looked from Peter out to Jesus on the water. Jesus was looking right at me and said, "It's your turn!" And immediately, I thought, "He's right! It is my turn!" As the meditation continued, I saw myself getting up and moving to the edge of the boat. It was scary and yet peaceful all at the same time. My vision ended as I began to lift one leg over the side of the boat and step onto the water.

I was reminded of this meditation this week as I read another blog where someone referenced the book, "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat."  I started reading the book this week to see how it might speak to where we are right now.

One point the author makes is how fear is always part of growth.  In fact, he says, "The choice to follow Jesus - the choice to grow - is the choice for the constant recurrence of fear.  You've got to get out of the boat a little every day."  This is exactly how I feel right now.  Every day presents a challenge to do something I have never done before or something that sets me outside of my comfort zone.  And every day, I have to make a choice of whether I will give in to fear or move forward.  Many days, I have the thought, "This is too hard.  Let's just stay here."  But then I remember that neither one of us have jobs after this month and our house is under contract.  The only option is either to move to Oxford or to move in with one of our parents!  So that spurs me on to get done what needs to get done!

The author goes on to say, "Each time you get out of the boat, you become a little more likely to get out the next time.  It's not that the fear goes away, but that you get used to living with fear.  You realize that it does not have the power to destroy you."  Growing means taking new steps and doing new things, and that is scary.  Fear isn't necessarily bad.  It's just part of the deal.  And faith is not the absence of fear, but making the choice to keep following Christ anyway.  Knowing this helps me to put fear in the right perspective and not think that I am doing something wrong or handling all of this badly.  It just is what it is!

I thought about this idea of fear accompanying growth in this life, and I began to dream about what God's eternal Kingdom must be like.  Where there is no fear to inhibit us from approaching God or living out His good and perfect will.  What an exciting idea this is!  I look forward to that day!!

But for now, we will keep taking one step at a time no matter how scary it is because the goal is Jesus.  To keep our eyes on Him.  To be obedient to His call.  To be willing to step out of the boat and go!