Leaving Home

As of Monday, our house is now under contract!  This is a great answer to our many prayers!  We are hopeful that everything will go through as it should so that we can take this next step while leaving for Oxford.  Yet, even though it is exciting, it is also sad. 

Moving is not a new thing for us.  Johnny and I moved 5 times in our first 5 years of marriage.  We know how to move.  We got really good at it.  But this move is different.  It has been overwhelming to me, and I haven't been exactly sure why.

Now that we are 4 weeks away from boarding the airplane, I have been thinking that it is time to get serious about packing. :)  We've done an initial cleaning out of our house, but now the real work begins.  Logistically, it is a little more complicated than our previous moves.  Instead of two categories (take it or get rid of it), there are really three (take it, store it or get rid of it).  I assumed that it was this added category that had me struggling to know where to start.  Plus, you add to it trying to pack while also trying to keep the house in order for showings, and I felt stymied. 

But with the contract on the house and our short-time frame, I have been trying to get organized and figure out how to really get serious.  My mom and I were having a conversation today about logistics and afterward, Emily asked what Grammy and I were talking about.  It was when I was trying to explain it to her that I realized the other dimension of this move that I had not realized yet:  the emotional factor.

This is our home!  "Our" home for the last 5 years.  We came into this house as a family of two and are leaving a family of three.  I love this house because of the memories we have here and the community we have found.  Our little girl came home from the hospital here and learned to walk here.  We became a family here!  And that's why I feel overwhelmed by leaving it.

I was explaining to Emily that selling the house means that we will move all of our stuff out and someone else will move their stuff in.  As I told her how we would not live here again, she and I both started crying. 

And it was then that I realized that in helping her to get through this transition, I am also helping myself.  I explained to her that it is okay to be sad about leaving.  It doesn't mean that we are not excited about our new adventure.  It just means that we have loved living here and have good memories here.  And as I am comforting her, I am comforting myself too.

My family will tell you that I don't like change.  However, much of my adult life has been all about change.  Since leaving my parents' house for college 18 years ago (was it really that long ago?), the last 5 years in this house are the longest I have lived anywhere.  So obviously, I have learned how to adapt to change and even seek it out.  But it still doesn't mean that I like it.  It really stresses me out.  But I am thankful that we get to walk through this with our family and friends and tell each other that it is okay to grieve.  It's okay to be sad.  It doesn't mean that we are not excited.  It just means that we have loved and been loved and really connected with people in our communities here.  And that is a great blessing that we will carry with us as we go!